When someone hurts you, remember, one day they will be hurt too…. What to do when it hurts? If you hurt a loved one very much

To quit or not to quit - that is the question. If it was precisely this dilemma that had overcome Hamlet at one time, everything would probably have been much simpler. However, the philosophical question "To be or not to be?" seemed much more interesting to him. However, the point here is not at all in Hamlet. The whole reason is he, the same handsome prince with whom, following the oath to the registry office worker, you will live your whole life both in sorrow and in joy.

But if you have vague doubts about your future, it's time to check if your prince is from that fairy tale?

Here are the top 10 reasons to think about your relationship.

Lack of attention

Have you forgotten when he last time sent a message with the words “good morning” or “I love you”, and calls from him generally became akin to luxury. Postponing dates an hour before the meeting has become his habit, and he explains his behavior with a bunch of cases and incredible busyness. Promises to call back end with the fact that ... yes, they do not end with anything. And if you call him back yourself, you risk getting a cold and short answer: "I forgot."

Friends are more important to him

What could be better than meeting your girlfriend (unless, of course, the word "beloved" has not lost its relevance yet)? Of course, football, beer, fishing and a lot of friends. At least your boyfriend thinks so. Who argues that male friendship is a holy cause? But don't forget about relationships either.

Meetings with friends are a kind of VIP events that you are not recommended to attend. But what if romantic secluded evenings are left behind, and men's gatherings are organized almost every day? There is only one way out: meet him in the circle of your mutual friends. Or not meet at all.

Greed

Restaurants, going to the cinema and the theater have become your pipe dream. And you generally safely forgot about gifts and flowers. But nothing prevents him from pleasing himself with expensive purchases. Looks like he's not ready to spend money on you. And his behavior speaks volumes.

You have nothing to talk about

Your conversations are now limited to discussing everyday problems, gossip about mutual acquaintances, or disputes on various topics. He does not support you and is not at all interested in your life (when was the last time he asked how you were doing?). But even an hour is not enough for him to tell about all his problems, "exploits" at work or other events, the significance of which, as it seems to him, exceeds all indicators on the scale of importance.

Indifference

The words "You look amazing!" you are used to hearing from other men, and not from him, but the phrase “Where are you going and when will you return?” he does not speak even for the sake of decency. You have to admit that he doesn't care about you. Delays at work, late returns home and late-night calls to your number do not interest him at all. You do not have to rely on his help and support. In general, the phrase “both in sorrow and in joy” is clearly not about you. The presence of a problem, a cold or just a bad mood makes you call not him, but your friends. Ask yourself the question: why? Maybe you are not as close as you would like?

Interest in other girls

Increasingly, you began to notice how he was looking at people passing by. As soon as you leave to powder your nose, in a minute he is already talking enthusiastically with an unfamiliar girl. You should not dispute the statement that looking at the fair sex is a common thing for men. This pure water physiology. However, it is good to know the measure in everything. So, if the diagnosis "potential womanizer" does not lend itself to any treatment, maybe you should change the "patient"?

causeless jealousy

He calls you five times a day and controls your every step. It hardly speaks of boundless love. More like distrust. He considers you his property, and it is unlikely that this feeling will wane over time.

He doesn't want a serious relationship

Serious relationship- not what he aspired to all his life. Meet, walk and scatter - that's his motto. He is in no hurry to introduce you to his friends and relatives. This state of affairs does not suit you at all, and, most likely, in the near future you will simply get tired of it. You want a family, children, and he certainly will not like such an idea. In this case, do not rush to conclusions: maybe he is simply not ready to start a family yet? The best option is to ask him about future plans in your life together. If he does not want to change anything, then you should think about whether you need this game in the sandbox?

Fading passions

Where did the former spark and attraction to each other that you constantly experienced go? Love has passed, the tomatoes have withered, and there is no question of passion at all. You no longer experience euphoria at the mere glance of him. If you're having a hard time and don't know where your relationship is headed, just let go of the person in search of your true love. But do not forget that it is better to measure seven times and cut once.

When it hurts, the sequence of actions is as follows: eliminate, remove, use, endure. And then think. More:

Eliminate

In the most careful and responsible way, consider the possibility of eliminating what causes pain.

Be careful. Be prepared for the fact that in unclear cases, different specialists will find a variety of reasons. See →

If the pain is of medical origin, be sure to go to the doctor and perform all (even unpleasant) procedures that he prescribes. If pain occurs when playing sports - consult with a trainer and reduce the load. Practicing "through the pain", you can become a champion, but after that remain disabled.

Take off

The sharp pain remaining after this is desirable to remove. Medicinal methods of pain relief - only after consulting a doctor, not medicinal - see Dealing with pain.

Use

The pain remaining after that is to be used. Options can be very different:

spin the pain on and use the energy of anger.
for training (relaxation of the body, defocused and just distraction),
for conversations with loved ones, if this topic will bring you closer, and also give them the opportunity to take care of you.

Tolerate

Whatever is left after that is just to endure. If it is still too painful and difficult to endure, see

Even in a good relationship, anything can happen: quarrels, scandals - without this, nowhere. But no matter how angry you are with your partner right now, remember: There are buoys that are better not to swim. Otherwise, your "love boat" will soon become damp and go to the bottom. Tested by the experience of my clients in nine years of psychological counseling.

So:

Buoy 1. Humiliation

When the conflict is in full swing, the desire to win at any cost is great. But if the price of victory is the humiliation of a partner, you can easily lose a relationship. In the heat of a quarrel, we pour out all the accumulated dirt on our partner. These are insults (“you are a fool” - the softest), “poking” your nose into shortcomings, threats to leave such a “freak” ... and so on.

When the storm subsides and you make peace, everything will be forgotten. But ... usually, in the heat of a quarrel, people hit the most painful places of a loved one that they managed to recognize during the relationship. The insult is forgotten, but the sediment remains. It's like a wormhole in an apple. And with each subsequent scandal, the worminess of the apple increases. In the end, you will get a spoiled apple. That is relationships.

And how then to swear?

During a quarrel, it is better to talk about your condition at the moment when a loved one does something wrong. For example: “When you were late at work and did not remember about my performance in the evening, I was terribly offended. I cried for two hours. It was an extremely brutal act."

(Note that here I am defining an act, not a person. Even good guy can do bastard things - I think it's not a secret). If the quarrel goes in this direction, there are more chances that you will be heard. When you attack a person (even justifiably), there is a desire to defend yourself, but not to listen. And the last thing you want is to take your position and understand how you feel.

Buoy 2. Comparison

It is quite normal that your partner does not suit you in everything. And it is clear that you want to make it better. It's all about methods.

Many use the tried and tested Soviet pedagogical method: comparison. Remember at school: “Petya Ivanov is our pride! Excellent student, draws well - take an example from him! Remember your feelings at this moment: and shame that you do not meet this high standard of Ivanov, and the understanding that you will never reach, and resentment that they do not appreciate ... and a strong desire to do everything awry, out of spite ...

What happens to you when someone close to you compares you to someone? I think you are hurt and offended. It turns out that comparison is an inefficient way.

How do you tell your partner that you are not happy with something?

Try to talk. Let's say if you don't like your partner's figure: “Would you like to go to the gym? So I'm going, because I ate the sides ... but one was too lazy. Let `s together! You will cheer me up, and I will cheer you up! If your partner agrees, great. But he may refuse. Then this is the position of a person, and it is difficult to do anything with it. You will have to decide what is more important: the figure of a partner or a relationship with him.

Displacer 3. Depreciation

Imagine I bought myself a new dress. I resort to a close friend - I brag. And she told me: “So you kind of had it ... It would be better if I bought a coat instead of the old one ...” Curtain. Shopping pleasure ruined.

Or, for example, a husband animatedly tells you about a friend's new car. And you: “Why are you telling me about Volodya. Everything is clear with him - he has nowhere to put his money. You'd better take out the garbage, yesterday you promised and didn't do it. We've arrived. The husband understands that his pressing affairs are on your drum.

It is highly likely that soon he will go where he will be listened to. And not necessarily a blonde with a round booty. It could be an ordinary woman. Who just knows how to be attentive.

And what if you get bored listening?

It is only natural that you and your partner have different interests. However, show

respect for the hobbies and affairs of a loved one. And if it’s completely unbearable ... Are you sure that you live with that person?

Buoy 4. Silence (aka ignoring)

The golden classic of my childhood: if my mother is offended, my mother is silent. And he does not explain the reason for his silence. I myself had to be clearly aware of my unworthy behavior. But I didn't understand! But I remember how scary and uncomfortable it was as a child. And when she grew up, she actively practiced the same “family” method of communication.

The destructive effect of it is amazing. In terms of the equivalent, you seem to pack your things for no reason and leave for a month, for example, to Mexico. Showing with all your appearance that it is the partner who is to blame for your flight. And he remains alone - in confusion and bewilderment. And after each such story, something falls off from the former proximity. Until there is nothing left of her.

What if I can't talk about my feelings?

Communicate in any way: write letters, send SMS, draw messages with lipstick on the wall ... why not? The main thing is not to close. This only makes you worse.

Buoyok 5. Leaving the conversation

Through irony, ridicule, denial of the conflict itself.

You to the guy: “Let's talk about what happened yesterday. I was hurt by what you did." And he answered: “Oh, you are my crybaby, you just have to cry,” or: “So it was yesterday, why remember that.” Or your husband says to you: “Let's discuss the budget. We've been planning for a long time." And you: “Oh, I need to call Masha, otherwise she will be offended.” This is an escape from an uncomfortable conversation.

When you are scared and do not want to deal with other people's emotions and affairs, you move away from the problem. Different ways. For a loved one, such actions speak of your indifference. It hurts him or her.

So how do you overcome the fear of speaking?

Talk about your fears. For example: “I know that we have been going to discuss the budget for a long time, but I am afraid that in the course of the conversation we will quarrel. We look at finances too differently.” It becomes clear to the other person what exactly is happening to you. And this is an occasion for a constructive conversation.

Most often, people do not hurt each other out of malice. But because of a misunderstanding. A joke on the subject.

A man hails a taxi

Where are you?

No, I will not go to the boas ...

No, you misunderstood me ... Where do you want to go?

Well, if necessary, let's go to the boas.

Mila Kolpakchi, psychologist

You may need to learn how to make someone feel guilty in order to let the person know what they really did. Here's how to do it effectively.

Many people will tell you that it's wrong to try to make someone feel upset or guilty. Truth? Not really if you need the person to understand your feelings. The only way to do this is to figure out how to make someone feel guilty.

If a person does not care and he just enjoys life in this way, then he will still continue to do the same. He may hurt you again or hurt someone else. If you want him to know how much you hurt, show it.

Guilt is a very strong emotion, if a person, of course, feels it.

Many people ignore guilt. They are unwilling to admit that they did something wrong. They simply do not pay attention to it, even forget about it later if no one reminds them. But it is very important for people to feel it.

Because guilt can teach lessons. How more people worries about it, the more he realizes what he has done. And those who ignore guilt often repeat the same mistakes, only each time their “pranks” manifest themselves in an uglier and more “toxic” way.

How to Make Someone Feel Guilty So They Realize

You need to make the person feel guilty. But what can hurt you even more is when the person doesn't care at all. This is often the result of his ignorance. If you really want to make someone feel guilty, here's how to do it.

Define your feeling

You can't cry out in pain if you don't know how much it hurts. Are you angry? Offended? Do you want to hurt this person?

You really need to think about the emotions that are swirling around in your head so that you can pinpoint exactly what they are. Once you recognize them, you can reason about why this person made you feel this way. Only then can you work on making him feel guilty.

Take the time to make a plan

You can't walk up to someone and start screaming about how much you've been hurt. It almost never works and ends up looking like crazy. And do you really think that a person will feel guilty when he is shouted about it in his face?

No. You should take some time to put together a plan of action in the first place. Sit down and think better about how to get the attention of this person so that you can talk to them about important things. Once you understand how you feel and what you want to say, you can move on to the next step.

Present your arguments

Just do it, but not aggressively. The person will already begin to feel guilty when you tell him about your pain. Nobody wants to admit that he upset someone. And so he will avoid you if you start making accusations.

Instead, make sure you are in a calm state and can talk about things in a civilized way. Even if you are really angry at heart, try to look nice and adequate on the outside so that you can really hook the person before they get defensive.

Make the person feel like they belong in the situation

Often people do not feel guilty because they cannot understand what their fault is. This misunderstanding arises from the fact that they consider themselves not involved in the fact that you are hurt. To fix this, you must talk to them in a way that they can understand.

Therefore, explain the situation in an accessible, understandable way. Analogies are great for this as you paint the same situation in a new light. So the person will understand better.

Let him see that you are hurting

It's okay to show your pain. You don't have to force yourself to hide it. If you want to cry, then cry. Show the person how much pain they have caused you.

However, control yourself so that he does not think that you are very dramatic. Trying to hide how you really feel will make the person think you are cheating. And all the stories about how much it hurts you will be perceived as a farce.

Draw his attention to you

It's not always helpful to indulge in drama, but some people need it. Sometimes you literally have to go crazy to get the attention of the offender. So put on a show. If you haven't been able to reach him in any other way, this may be your only option.

Once you realize you've got his attention, slow down. Try to make sure that he understands what you are getting at. Otherwise, he will just get angry and refuse to listen to you.

Treat him accordingly

You were in pain. The person did something bad to hurt you, and you should treat them accordingly. You may not even want to talk to him afterwards. Treat him like he did something terrible and you don't like it.

Avoid him and even insult him if necessary. Some people need this kind of "treatment" or they won't realize how badly they've done. If you act the same as always, they will think that you have not been harmed, that everything is fine.

Talk about it logically

Don't talk about yourself all the time, discussing why you're hurting. Describe what happened logically. Take yourself out of this equation. Show that someone was hurt in this situation, and it's not just you.

Some people think that the person is just too sensitive and doesn't hurt as much as they make it out to be. A logical explanation for why you feel this way can help them understand that your sensitivity isn't the problem.

Talk seriously and find out the opinion of the offender

Most people just want the other to feel guilty, that's all. They do not care what prompted them to such actions.

But you must. Maybe the person didn't even want to hurt you. So let him speak. Listen to him before attacking with your grievances. You will be able to understand much more than if you use any other method.

Come to terms with the fact that he doesn't care

You cannot change everyone. Some people, no matter how hard you try, will never admit they did wrong. They immediately become defensive and don't care who they hurt.

You can't expect someone to feel guilty, always. After a while, you will realize that they really do not care and they will never admit their guilt. Live your life and don't let yourself hold back your feelings.

This information will help you open the eyes of the offender and show how painful and unpleasant what he did. It may not be easy for you, but if you want to stay close to this person, it's worth teaching them a lesson.

"joylessness"

"a feeling of emotional numbness"

"feeling of absence of feelings",

other sensations, not rarely the most exotic.

Definition of mental pain

What is heartache? Is it a disease or defensive reaction organism?

From a doctor's point of view, it's both.

The brain, in this way, tries to convey to us, to signal that it is sick and needs help to cope with today's problem. If he is not helped today, then tomorrow this condition can provoke the formation of a more complex mental pathology.

Emotional pain as a defensive reaction

Any person can experience mental pain, including a mentally healthy person, for example, who has experienced a significant loss of someone or something.
Many conflicts that seem unsolvable in people with a certain type of personality (suspicious, anxious, with increased responsibility, always doubting everything) can cause a feeling of pain in the soul. In these cases, mental pain is regarded as a protective reaction of the psyche to excessive stress.

Mental pain as a symptom of the disease

However, it is not uncommon for mental pain to be a manifestation (symptom) of a mental illness (mental disorder). Should be paid Special attention that the expression itself - "mental illness", has a direct origin from the words mental pain. Feeling mental pain is the most common symptom of the most common mental disorder. recent years- depression.

Causes

All the causes of experiencing pain in the soul, as mentioned above, can be divided into two groups:

the first - diseases (mental disorders and behavioral disorders),
the second is psychological (psychogenic), conflicts between the "real" and the "desired" (true neuroses).

Help with mental pain

It is possible and necessary to help a person experiencing mental pain.

In some cases, help is a conversation and support, or, conversely, isolation and temporary loneliness.

In others - neurometabolic therapy with the use of special methods of psychotherapy and medications, constant strict supervision by the attending physician.

Unfortunately, there is no universal remedy for mental pain. Each case requires an individual solution.

Treatment

Is it possible to remove or relieve mental pain on your own? If possible, how?

If the pain in the soul is not a symptom of a mental disorder, then you can try to treat mental pain yourself with some activities, such as: take a contrast shower, try to give physical activity(squats, running, swimming), try to sleep.

If mental pain is a manifestation of any disease, then the help of a specialist psychotherapist or psychiatrist is needed. The problem is that, as a rule, with mental disorders, a critical attitude towards their condition may decrease, and the sick person does not seek help, does not turn to a specialist. And a healthy person who, after stress, suffers from pain in the soul, on the contrary, is inclined to seek support, help from loved ones, tries to find a way to treat mental pain, turns to a doctor for advice.

What to do if you or your loved one is seized and does not let go of the pain in the soul? If, moreover, it also intensifies day by day?

There is only one answer. You need to go to a psychotherapist or psychiatrist.

Firstly, he knows how to quickly help and relieve this painful feeling.

Secondly, if mental pain is a manifestation of any mental disorder and treatment is required, then the psychotherapist will be able to choose therapy (medication and psychotherapy).

The Brain Clinic provides adequate assistance to all who apply with different types and varying degrees of pain in the soul.

Call +7 495 135-44-02

We will help you or your loved ones get rid of mental pain!

We help in the most severe cases, even if the previous treatment did not help.

We have 4 options that either continue to destroy us and our lives, or help to heal and, with the experience gained, go to a new and healthy life.

"Execution cannot be pardoned"

I remember one old children's cartoon, where the place where the boy had to put a comma depended on his own fate. The cost of a mistake was great. The same is true in the lives of adults.

We often make mistakes, but not spelling, but vital ones. These mistakes form our life lessons and our experience. But the choice is always ours, where to put the very comma that can change everything in our lives.

A special place in the passage of our life lessons is occupied by those who hurt us. One of the ways in which humanity develops is the path of destruction or the path through pain. And those who hurts us, do it for something.

Unfortunately, this pain can be so strong that the mind turns off and only emotions control us. So what about those who hurt us?

We have 4 options that either continue to destroy us and our lives, or help to heal and, with the experience gained, go to a new and healthy life.

1. Repay the same

The first and natural desire that arises in us is to repay our offender with the same, the desire to hurt him. But, it all depends on who this offender is: a stranger or a close person.

A stranger always wants to answer. The only question is, on whose side is the power. If the power is on his side and you are powerless against him, then a plan still creeps into your head on how to do it, how to take revenge, or you just resign yourself. If you are equal in strength, then you can simply give him change or answer the same and you, as they say, will be quits.

It is a completely different matter if this is a person close to you: your partner, or one of your parents, or maybe friends. Relationships between close people are very often built on the principle of give-and-take balance. And in this case, in order for you to be in balance with the offender, you can also do something bad to him, but in lesser degree than he did to you. Imbalance gives rise to a sense of duty and ties karmic knots.

2. Carry the pain inside

You can continue to carry this pain in yourself, keep all your grievances and claims in yourself. You can express them to him or in a quiet dialogue to yourself. This is self-torture, the natural living of pain.

And most often we do just that, we cannot let go of this pain and this person, we carry this pain in our souls, we continue to be offended and make claims. We can never forgive. What for? After all, he did not understand what he did to us, what pain he caused. And he either did not ask for forgiveness, or if he asked, then formally, without much awareness of the full force of his act. And how we want to hear his sincere repentance, to hear that he was wrong. But we do not hear anything in response and continue to eat ourselves.

We do not let go of it and bind ourselves to it. We are not free, and, in fact, we do not strive for freedom from it. We keep it and keep ourselves. This connection is important to us and we keep it ourselves, we keep it through grievances and claims.

Pain very often destroys the body, our kidneys and heart suffer. The body is in a state of constant stress, appetite is lost, weight is lost, vitality is gone. We slowly and gradually destroy our body and this can lead to serious illnesses.

3. Forgive and let go

Forgiveness is perhaps the most difficult and most noble of our deeds, which we can only afford. Forgive with all my heart, not formally, not in words, but in such a way that the soul becomes easy and free. Let go of him and yourself, let go of your pain, your claims and resentments.

become free. Therefore, forgiveness is needed primarily not for your offender, but for yourself. This takes courage. But we have a resource. It is important to use them in order to start new life. Life without old connections, life without old pain. A life that you can rebuild yourself anew and the way you want, given the experience gained.

4. Thank

Gratitude is the highest degree of awareness. Thank the one who hurt us for life experience which we got thanks to him. Let it be a difficult experience, but it is ours. And we can safely go further, for new experience, without bearing the burden of the past. We are free, and we are grateful to life for the fact that we have it and for all the new opportunities that open up before us.

Which of the 4 options to prefer - the choice is always yours. What you choose will determine your future life. Those who hurt you performed the function assigned to them, and for some reason they performed it just for you.

You can understand the reasons why this happened, understand, forgive, let go and learn this life lesson.

You can also keep going in this vicious circle and attract more people to you who will hurt you.

I perfectly understand that being in a state of living pain, it is difficult to make a positive choice and it takes time for the pain to subside and the wound to heal. But, remember that you can go either the path of destruction or the path of creation. The choice is yours!

The reasons why it hurts to poop, can be varied, while we are talking not only about pathological factors, but also the individual structure of the body. Pain during bowel movements occurs in both adults and children, but most often they affect people of advanced age and those who lead a sedentary lifestyle.

Give a definite answer to the question - why does it hurt to poop, is very difficult. They can provoke a problem as external factors surrounding each specific person, and features in its physiological structure.

In addition, the process of defecation is affected by lifestyle and the presence of bad habits. So, for example, people who drink alcohol, spicy foods and those who eat dry food, more often than others complain of constipation and pain during bowel movements.

The following factors can provoke pain during the act of defecation:

lack of fluid in the body;
Availability inflammatory process in the large intestine;
haemorrhoids;
dysbacteriosis;
long-term use of certain drugs;
hypodynamia;
the use of foods that increase gas formation in the intestines;
lack of fiber in the diet.

Most of the above factors negatively affect the structure of feces: feces harden and become stone, so their exit is accompanied by unpleasant sensations.

It hurts to poop becomes when the movement of coarsened accumulated masses damages the walls of the colon and leads to a rupture of the anus. This defecation is often accompanied blood secretions, and each subsequent trip to the toilet causes repeated pain until the previous injuries heal.

Why does it hurt to poop after constipation

Most often, people who have problems with stool complain of pain during a bowel movement. This is due to the uneven release of feces, which, when in the body for a long time, lose moisture and become more solid and dense.

It hurts to poop after constipation because the anal area has a lot of nerve endings. Injury to the walls of the colon and the anus itself leads to the formation of wounds that do not have time to heal before the next bowel movement. Therefore, the pain is often recurring.

Pain during bowel movements with constipation is also observed due to such pathologies:

sphincter rupture (occurs when a person pushes hard);
damage to hemorrhoids;
anal fissure;
anokopchikovy pain syndrome;
cryptite;
paraproctitis, etc.

Constant pain is observed in chronic constipation, accompanied by a partial exit of feces. Passing its way, solid feces each time re-injure the walls of the intestine and anus. This does not allow the wounds to heal, and the pain becomes more and more noticeable each time.

In case of inflammation of hemorrhoids, blood may be present in the feces. The pain itself during bowel movements has a cutting-burning character, because of which a person tries to restrain the urge to defecate, which only exacerbates constipation and pain.

Painful bowel movements after childbirth

Many women who have given birth know firsthand about the pain during the act of defecation. Almost all women in labor are faced with this problem, and there is nothing to worry about, since it is eliminated simple means enveloping the walls of the intestine.

Pain can occur both during the bearing of the baby, and after childbirth. In the first case, the causes of discomfort during bowel movements are the growing fetus, which compresses the digestive tract and the intestine itself, which provokes constipation.

Also, during pregnancy, there are often problems with blood circulation, which negatively affect the functioning of the intestines and lead to the development of hemorrhoids.

Maybe for several reasons:

hormonal changes that inhibit the work of the intestines and peristalsis;
postpartum hemorrhoids;
breaks received during childbirth;
non-compliance with the drinking regime and malnutrition after cesarean section.

To understand the cause of pain, it is enough to contact your gynecologist or proctologist. If the pain is caused by rupture of hemorrhoids, then you can help yourself at home by applying a cool compress to the perineum and using special candles.

How to understand that it hurts a child to poop

Problems with emptying in children occur quite often, and constipation can be observed constantly or appear unexpectedly. Most often, the absence of stool and pain during bowel movements also disturb children under three years of age.

If an adult child is able to independently say about the presence of pain, then problems arise with young children in this regard. The fact that it hurts a child to poop can be understood by the following signs:

fear of defecation;
crying during a bowel movement;
exit of hardened feces;
cry while wiping the buttocks;
fear of the pot.

In addition, it is possible to suspect that it is painful for a baby to defecate not only due to restless behavior, but also due to the presence of anal fissures and blood in the stool itself. These signs indicate constipation, so you should take a closer look at the child.

Sometimes pain during emptying can be even with soft stools and regular stools. Most parents are misleading, they cannot understand for a long time what is the reason for the child's hysteria during bowel movements.

If it hurts a child to poop, what should parents do to facilitate emptying? First of all, you should pay attention to the diet of the baby. With a balanced diet and proper drinking mode children rarely have problems with stool. If this is not enough, then the child must be shown to the doctor.

What to do with painful bowel movements with constipation

Constipation and associated painful bowel movements are best prevented rather than treated. But if the problems, nevertheless, began, then the first thing to do is to understand their cause.

If it hurts to poop and constipation, then the first step is to change the diet, excluding junk food from it and including more fiber. With a problematic stool and hard stool, which causes pain, you must:

consume fresh plant foods daily;
avoid dryness;
add a few drops of oils (olive, linseed, pumpkin, etc.) to the prepared food;
increase the amount of water consumed;
there are dried fruits such as dried apricots and prunes;
include dairy products without thickeners in the diet.

But what to do if poop hurts due to lower gastrointestinal or colonic disease? In this case, the treatment includes not only a special diet, but also medication. Therapy differs depending on the disease, so only a specialist can prescribe it.

If hemorrhoids cause pain during bowel movements, then you can help yourself with rectal suppositories and herbal baths, which the proctologist will advise. In the case of neoplasms in the colon, therapy is more serious and should be started with a visit to an oncologist.

When a person feels physical pain, it is quite easy to say that he is in pain. But when the soul hurts, what to do, how to explain it, and how to deal with it?

Features of mental pain

As you know, mental pain is not measured by any devices. Oddly enough, sometimes a person cannot even describe it, but most of us have felt it at least once in our lives. Often, small wounds on the body heal quite quickly, but it can take more than one year to eliminate the pain in the soul.

The emotional suffering that a person feels at this moment is often incommensurable with anything. The painful sensations that a person has at this moment depend on individual characteristics personality and the reasons that provoked such a failure in the body.

Causes of mental pain

If we consider mental pain in a broad concept, then there can be an incalculable number of reasons for its occurrence. Most often, such unpleasant sensations appear due to the loss of a loved one. This may be a break in relations, a serious quarrel, death. In all these cases, there is a feeling of emptiness, a lack of this person, which entails the appearance of mental pain.

Asking the question of why the soul hurts, you can find other answers. Often this happens for the reason that the goal was not achieved. For example, a person spent most of his life creating a breathtaking career, but he remained an average worker. Someone focused on family life but it's getting divorced. Moreover, in most of these cases, oppression occurs not because the desired did not work out, but because of the condemnation of the inner circle.

Also, situations can be associated with public opinion when a person does not want to do something, but “must”. This very need is most often far-fetched. In society, certain ideals appear over time, trying to achieve them, a person forgets about what he really wants. Not getting even the slightest pleasure from daily work every day, he cannot achieve a feeling of joy, constant tension eventually affects his state of mind.

How to deal with the problem

Most people in such a situation are not interested in the cause of such sensations, but in the answer to the question "When the soul hurts, what should I do?". You need to understand for yourself how to relate to this pain, what to do in a similar situation, and how to respond to what happened. All these steps will be part of the recovery and getting rid of the aching sensations.

How to deal with pain

Do not perceive pain as something negative and destructive. Pain, both mental and physical, gives us a sign that a failure has occurred in the body. This state becomes the first signal that warns of much worse consequences. And you need to direct your internal reserves to eliminate the first impulses.

The constant state of depression, apathy and dissatisfaction only gets worse with time. If no action is taken, then as a result of a continuous depressed mood, a person morally begins to “corrode” himself from the inside.

How to react

It is much easier to cope with torment when you know why the soul hurts. There are several tips that help in different situations. After all, a person will cope with a problem in different ways if there is mental anxiety and when there is a feeling that no one needs it.

Loss of a loved one

You have to feel the greatest pain in those moments when you lose a loved one forever. Even more depressing is the realization that you can’t return those joyful moments that connected you.

In such a situation, you do not need to keep everything in yourself, especially in the first time after what happened. It's best to cry, whether it's for someone or just alone. After you let go of the most negative emotions, you should take care of your own recovery. You need to accept the fact that a person has left this life, but you are still alive, do not give up on yourself. Oddly enough, in this situation, most people who have experienced this support the claim that time heals. No one will say how much water must leak for you to return to real life again, but it will definitely happen.

Do not shut yourself off from the help of loved ones, they can distract you a little. When the soul hurts from losses, loneliness is not the best adviser, therefore, to restore vitality and energy, try to get involved in the life of society more often.

Loneliness

At some point in life, most people feel abandoned and unwanted. If the soul hurts from loneliness, the main thing is not to close yourself in. The more you focus on yourself, the more this state absorbs. It can be hard on the soul from loneliness after parting, or such pain can arise as a result of a feeling that no one needs it.

Getting out of the daily routine, meeting new people, traveling and even art will help to cope with loneliness. Needlework is a great way to recover from a failed relationship. Choose for yourself what you like, whether it's painting huge oil paintings or collecting match houses, the main thing is that this activity completely absorbs and captures you.

If you broke up, but still work at the same job or are in the same company of friends, then the best option there will be a change of scenery. It is not necessary to go to the other end of the Earth to be distracted. Camping with tents in a nearby forest will have exactly the same effect.

There is also one popular and quite effective way when it's hard on the soul. Workaholics in this case are completely saved by work. This is a fairly effective method, but you should not use it as a long-term treatment, because you can lose touch with all your relatives and friends. Therefore, it is better to perceive this method as a temporary therapy.

Woe

The concept of grief is quite broad, it can include both mental and physical losses. When the soul hurts from grief, it is necessary to realize and accept what happened, and then begin to move on. Everything passes and changes, medicine allows you to treat most diseases, and financial losses can always be restored. Time heals, and after a while you yourself will begin to forget about what happened.

Resentment

A fairly common state of the human body, when the soul hurts from resentment. Injustices in this life lie in wait for us at every corner, and with all the desire it is impossible to cope with everyone. If the feeling of resentment arose as a result of a situation that you can influence, then it is best to act and strive to restore justice. If the situation is obviously win-win, it is better to let it go and forget it as soon as possible. Resistance will take much more vitality from you than ignoring what happened. If a feeling of resentment arose after what a loved one said to you, it is better not to corrode yourself about this, but to talk frankly with him. A fairly common situation is when a person winds himself up and thinks out the development of the plot to one phrase. A constructive conversation will help to find out the essence of the problem and understand for yourself, first of all, whether there is a reason to be offended.

First aid at home

Most often, the most ordinary things are able to restore a positive attitude and pull a person out of an oppressed state. Therefore, you need to remember some tips that will answer the question "The soul hurts, what should I do?". Easy tricks to eliminate psychological trauma:

In the most difficult situations

When the soul hurts, what to do in the case when no method helps, and you yourself feel that you are more and more drawn into this state? There remains one more proven method of dealing with mental pain and depression - a trip to a psychologist. Some people are extremely negatively opposed to this, believing that it is a waste of money and time. Actually it is not.

A long-term state of mental pain, which is intertwined with chronic depression, is no longer regarded simply as a failure in the body, but as a disease. And who better to help cope with the disease, if not a doctor?

Mental pain should not be underestimated, against the background of this problem, violations of the physical condition of a person develop, and health problems appear. The patient becomes distracted, which negatively affects work and study, and will subsequently give an additional impetus to aggravate depression.

A visit to a psychologist will allow you to find out how the situation looks from the outside. A positive feature is that a person can impartially look at what happened. Also, the psychologist will surely offer you several options for getting out of this state, it will be possible to choose the most effective and least painful for you. The human psyche has many features that only an experienced psychologist understands, so his help most often becomes the most effective among all options for getting rid of depression.

Don't lock yourself in

If you feel that for some reason you have internally broken down, and you can no longer cope on your own, you should not close yourself off from everyone. Such a state can be compared to a disease that you do not tell anyone about, but at this time it is aggravated and causes more and more harm.

Talk to a loved one, if it is psychologically difficult to do this, tell a stranger about your experiences. Constantly holding negative thoughts in ourselves, we poison our essence.

recovery or aggravation

Some people confuse relief from mental pain with temporary relief. Choosing alcohol or drugs as an ally, a person must understand that they will not help in any way to cope with the problem. The intoxication passes, but the pain does not disappear anywhere. Such methods of treatment are akin to self-deception, we forget about the problem for a while, but it does not go away.

To get rid of mental pain, you need to understand what its root cause is, get rid of it, accept it or forget it. You should not run away from the decision, the faster and more radically you begin to deal with mental pain, the better the result will be.

Every person experiences many different emotions every day. And if everything is very clear with positive ones, then it is sometimes very difficult for a person to deal with negative ones. That is why in this article I want to talk about how to cope with mental pain.

What it is

At the very beginning, it must be said that the very concept of "soul" is very abstract. This is a certain substance that has no color, no smell, no weight. However, it is she who is the whole basis of human life, the engine of the body, its leader. Here it must be said that such concepts as mental health, wound or mental pain are also very abstract. After all, that which does not even have a form cannot hurt. However, such feelings at least once in a lifetime experienced, probably, every person living on planet Earth. is a very complex and dangerous thing, because to cope with it in short terms not with the help of pills or special medical procedures (as in the case of physical pain). It takes time and a certain set of actions.

Ingredients of mental pain

I would also like to say that any emotional experiences (according to modern psychologists) consist of several simple elements:

Emotions.
Thoughts.
Unpleasant sensations or discomfort in the body.
Visual images (representations, some pictures before the eyes).

If a person's soul hurts, what to do? Often there is a logical question. After all, no one wants extra time suffer and spend in heavy thoughts. The first piece of advice is: time heals. And that's right. This truth has been known since time immemorial. The ancient doctors treated all kinds of emotional experiences exclusively with time (well, with labor). A person needs some time to get enough of his experiences. At this hour, you need to think carefully about everything, to live past events again. You need to feel your pain again - the last one. Only then can there be a sense of completeness. Often after this, people already begin to let go of their problem, gradually saying goodbye to it. Time will pass, and there will be no trace left of the experience. This should always be remembered, looking to the future, not the past.

However, there is one “but” in this advice. When figuring out how to deal with mental pain, you can’t get too bogged down in your problem. After all, she can “drag” for a long time into her networks. If the condition does not improve within a week, then you need to seek outside help. After all, this way you can gradually drive yourself into a long-term depression, which is very, very difficult to cope with.

Soul hurts! What to do, how to help yourself? Why not seek outside help? In this case, there are several ways to get out of the negative state. The first and probably the most important is the help of a psychologist. Based on a couple of conversations, a specialist will be able to understand the problem of his patient and help him find a way out of this situation. Attention: you need to remember that no one will solve the problem better than its owner. There is no need to hope that the psychologist will solve all the questions that disturb the soul. Not at all, he will show the way out of the situation. Next, you will have to act independently. The next way out of a difficult emotional situation is the help of parents or others. It is worth remembering that no one, except for the most dear and dear people, can help better. Mom, dad, sister, brother, aunts and uncles are those individuals who sincerely worry and will try to do everything to help their relative. You should always seek help from relatives, because they often give very good advice. And the last way to calm emotional experiences, feelings is to turn to friends for help. These are the people who, most likely, will not delve into the past, but will open their eyes to the present (especially when it comes to young people). Only good comrades can spin in the cycle of the day without giving their friend a moment's respite. Study, fun, self-discovery, cinema, exhibitions, discos… There simply won’t be time for self-flagellation and unnecessary worries. And there time will pass, and everything will gradually subside and be forgotten.

A few words about medicines

How else can you help yourself if your soul hurts, what to do in such a situation? So, sometimes you can hear simple advice: you need to take certain medications. These are the so-called antidepressants or simply sedative drugs. But this advice is very dangerous. The thing is that it is very, very dangerous to prescribe any medications on your own. This can have a very negative effect on health. Antidepressants should be prescribed exclusively by the attending physician after a certain examination and diagnosis of the disease. Here it is necessary to clarify: there are not so many such mental problems in which medicines help. You need to learn how to cope with everything on your own, without the influence of extraneous chemicals.

A few words about relaxing remedies

A lot of people can tell you how to get rid of mental pain. After all, the most commonly used method is the use of various relaxing agents. It can be alcohol, soft drugs. Undoubtedly, for a short period they can bring relief, clouding the mind. But this is by no means a way out of a difficult situation. After all, the next day the sensations return, and a difficult physical condition is also added to this. So it's doubly worse. In addition, taking the above-described means negatively affects a person, and in some cases leads to addictions that are oh so difficult to deal with.

If a person has a soul ache, what should be done to cope with this condition? So you need to talk about your problem. However, opening up to a person, albeit close ones, is far from always easy and simple. In this case, a diary is perfect. You need to try to pour out all your feelings and experiences on paper. You need to take notes at a time when it is very bad. You have to write for at least a week. Everything else will need to be read. Already after reading what has been written, a lot can become clear. Some things will seem ridiculous, but some things will already be possible to get rid of. It is worth remembering that by looking at the problem from the outside, you can better understand it and clarify some points for yourself.

How to calm down negative emotional feelings? You need to try to forget about the problem that worries you. This will take a little work. Namely, to get rid of everything that reminds of a difficult past. For example, if there was a breakup with a loved one, you will have to throw away or distribute all the gifts and destroy joint photos. Nothing should be left in the environment that can cause pain or memories.

The next tip on how to get rid of mental pain is to do what you love. You need to do everything to just not remember your problem. Creativity is the best way to do this. Embroidery, drawing, cycling, music - these are the things without which it is simply impossible to imagine a normal life. Taking your time completely, there is simply not enough time for negative thoughts and despondency.

If a person is tormented by various mental suffering, you can try to volunteer. In this case, you need to go to the nearest public organization and offer yourself as an assistant on a free basis. At the same time, you can talk about the reasons for such an act. In this case, a person can be sent to various meetings where people share their problems. After listening to the stories of others, he can draw a simple conclusion that his problem is not yet so terrible, that it can be dealt with. After all, there are more complex and terrible situations. At the same time, helping people, you can perfectly assert yourself, realizing that it is still very useful to society and other people. And such thoughts have a very positive effect on the process of recovery from mental suffering.

What to do if a person has a strong emotional wound? You can try to deal with it in a similar way. For example, if the cause of suffering is a breakup with a loved one, you need to start dating other people. If you were fired from your job or expelled from the institute, you can go to courses and learn a new profession. We must always remember what does not exist. Fate loves punchy and moderately arrogant, so you never need to lose heart and give up. After all, whoever knocks, they open it.

We must remember that life is one. It just won't work the second time around. Therefore, you need to try to do everything that you can at this very moment, here and now. As the saying goes, make the most of life. If you periodically return to the past, you can not keep up with the changes that are happening today. However, saying is not doing. Everything is much more complicated here. A simple tip on how not to think about what was: if such a desire arises, and thoughts come back, you just need to force yourself to visualize a different future. This great way accelerate mental recovery. We must come up with a picture of a bright future and return to it every time. And if everything is done correctly, the invented world will soon become a reality, and life will again go on an ascending line.

Everyone knows the simple truth: you need to give more, not receive. After all, it brings great moral satisfaction. If the soul is bad, we must try to improve the life of everyone around. You can help mom do a spring cleaning, give dad a long-awaited spinning rod or take a walk with your sister's child. Thanks and encouragement from the outside perfectly improve mood and give only positive emotions. And it's much easier to deal with difficult memories.

Here we will not talk about selfishness, but about the fact that you need to give yourself the maximum of what can please. At this time, you can try to fulfill at least one cherished dream - to jump with a parachute, go to the sea or just go to the amusement park. The expectation of something beautiful and positive emotions are great for dealing with multiple mental problems.

Simple Conclusions

And so that various mental illnesses and problems do not arise, you should always try to think positively. After all, all those tests that fate sends should only make a person stronger. And besides, you should always remember that behind the dark life strip there will always be white. Expecting the beautiful, it will soon be possible to wait for it.

Liked the article? Share it

Print article